Good Riddance

Yesterday, I was talking to a sweetheart of a girl at my gym about dating. She was twenty-nine and had yet to find that man of her dreams. Like I had been in my dating days, she was picky and no one had met her standards. Ooh that brought back some memories. How many dates had I been on that ended with me shaking my head for how horrible they went? Too many to count.

Let’s see, my first worst date was early in college when I went on a swim date with this kid. He “played” more with his male buddy in the pool than me. In fact, the other guy’s date or girlfriend that was there and I even started chatting and asking each other if they were gay and we were there for cover up.

Who knows, but can you say awkward….bro

In another blog article about kissing, a few years back, I wrote about feeling so sick after one date, that I had to call it quits before we got to the movie we were going to attend. I’m allergic to dairy, so whatever I ate must’ve had some kind of hidden cheese or milk, and I was doubled over with stomach pains. They gave me chills and I couldn’t handle moving on to the second half of the date, so since I drove (he lived on campus, and didn’t have a car. I did.) I brought him back to the dorms and said good night, apologizing for cutting our time short.  tumblr_lzx1vxsyf31qg39ewo1_500The jerk then still felt the need to get a good night kiss in, and slobberingly kissed me, including full tongue action. Gah! I wanted to gag, and shoved him away. He didn’t even have a chance to shut the door before I pulled out of the parking lot. Really, the nerve of him. Needless to say, he did not get a second date, and I yelled at him so badly the next day that he even dropped the class we had together. Good riddance!

In between those days and the next one I’m going to mention, were some good ones, and I had met some really nice guys, but still none of them had the forever quality. Connecticut, where I was raised, was just too small for my liking and I chose to move to San Diego, California for law school. And boy how those guys were different than the conservative Connecticuters I’d met before. First of all, there are the surfer dudes. They’re nice, relaxed, laid back, but weed is a constant vice. No thanks. Secondly, the law school guys–they were cunning and manipulative. I had one date me for my notes. Yep, he had a completely faked interest in me, but he sure liked how I could summarize case histories. Loser. And way too many of them, just wanted what every twenty-something year old guy wants, and I was not that kind of a girl. (Not yet at least. haha!)

sog_s37-k_2Thirdly, there were the Navy guys. Mmmm men in uniform. I met this one guy, I don’t even remember his name now, but he was hot. Dark cropped hair, big brown eyes, muscular, tall…and he was training to be a Navy SEAL. We had decided to go out on a weeknight, which meant that we had both had classes the next day, so we ate in. I made lasagna and spread our homework out on the dining room table. (Oh I should mention, I lived in a house with five other roommates, and I wasn’t alone, so I felt comfortable inviting him over with other people around.) I had my law school work, and he had a Navy textbook. Everything was going well, there was laughing and flirting, and then the ball had to drop… or to be more specific the seven inch SOG SEAL diving knife, which he so casually started sharpening at the table. Talk about uncomfortable. I realize it was normal for him, but the more I thought about it, the more I was like, no way…this is a first date and he’s digging out blades that could kill me with one flick of the wrist. Yeah, a second date never happened, and I was pretty glad. I could only imagine what he would have brought next… a Colt .45?

Shortly after the Navy SEAL, I met the man of my dreams, my now husband…here is the actual excerpt from my journal a week after I met him:

My dream of finding that “cave man”* was never so strong and so far away at the same time. I remember one morning just crying (it was a Wednesday morning), that I wanted the perfect man and I thought, what makes me want the perfect man, and then I realized it and said it aloud, “My father would never say anything like derogatory to my mom,” or any woman for the matter. I cried harder and was so saddened throughout the rest of the day. That is until Kung Fu that night. I was tying my sash when I turned to see a new face coming through the door. I did a double take because I saw a guy that had such a cute face and great smile.

Throughout the night we talked during class, he was also a white sash. His name is Jon and that night he changed my idea that there aren’t any more nice guys around anymore. I saw him the next night and the following and the following night as well. 4 nights in a row now. Each night was the equivalent of months at a time. 

He’s polite, kind, doesn’t unnecessarily swear, doesn’t drink or smoke, and is understanding, independent, but wants a security as we’ll, it’s engrained in him to be a gentleman. He listens to normal, fun music, likes the same movies as I do, is caring and considerate to feelings. And from watching him at work, he’s great with kids–he played magic trick with them during dinner. Most of all he wants a relationship that is open and honest and is full of caring that is not based on sex. It’s not the first thing on his mind and it’s so refreshing. He really likes me a lot too. I just hope and pray that this is it–the end of searching. The end of being lonely. 
P.S. On Monday, 5.2.2000 Jon asked if we could be a couple. I have a boyfriend now!!

Alright so I was pretty cheesy, but still, it was the end of the those days of searching, and those days of crappy dates and crazy guys.

Now, I know there are some of you out there that have some great stories to go with these. Share in the comments your worst date experiences, and we can vent together!

 

 

*cave men is a theory I have that there is this island where only the very best men are cultivated. They are a man’s man, but love their wives, and children like the breath in their lungs and more. I have a vision that when they are ready they emerge from this cave and the one girl who gets them is most lucky of all the women. There are very few that come from this cave, and that’s why there are so very few men like this out there. It’s the things I told myself during my lonely days

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Read Eryn’s latest book in the

Falling for Heroes Series: Falling for Phoenix

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And catch up on the first two books Falling for Shock and Falling for Freedom in the Falling for Heroes Boxset at the low price of $3.99. Two books for the price of one!

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A Kiss Before You Go

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A man’s kiss is his signature   -Mae West

Kissing, it’s more than a joining of lips. Depending on the right person, it can be a joining of souls.  Unfortunately not everyone experiences the perfect kiss every time.  In Beneath the Wall Julianne shares lip-locks with two different Marines.  One steals a kiss, the other uses his lips to speak the words his mind can’t befuddle.  (Above is the latter, in scattered form. )

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courtesy of Hallmark movie Operation Cupcake

In my life I’ve had the blissful, the boring and the most repugnant forms of kissing.  The worst kiss happened my freshman year of college.  I had a few lunch dates from this kid in my Art History class and one night we finally went on a dinner date. We visited an Italian restaurant and by the end of the meal I was doubled over with stomach pains from some kind of unknown cheese in my food – I’m allergic to dairy. Since I drove, I asked if I could bring him back to the dorm so I could go home and lay down. He agreed, seeing I was sick and I returned him to school. Then very unwelcomingly, he leaned over the gear shift, sloppily took my lips and shoved his tongue in my mouth.  I was appalled!  Here I was sick, wanting the night to end and I didn’t even get a “feel better”, instead my mouth was assaulted by his wayward tongue.  I pulled away and he barely stepped out of the car before I sped off, not even waiting for him to close the door.  Needless to say, after I yelled him a blue streak on the phone the next day, I never saw him again.  He even dropped out the class we shared! Good riddance.

A year later I had a boyfriend who was the exact opposite of Mr. Slimy Tongue. I called him the Pecker because his kisses were so boring.  One would have thought we were an elderly couple saying good night each time we kissed. Being that he was a twenty-something year-old young man, I expected more than just a peck, but no.  It came down to one summer date under the stars that I finally couldn’t take the simple pecks anymore.  I poised myself right in front of his face, cupped his cheeks and said, “Let me try something for a sec.”  I leaned in and kissed him with all the repressed desire I had from the last few months wanting a better kiss. I took his breath away!  But still his kisses in return were nothing more than a … peck. He just didn’t get it.

Now the very best kiss I ever received was from this sweet young man in my kung fu class, when I lived in California. I’d been on one bad date after another with several wanton guys in my law school. I was frustrated, annoyed and disappointed that these few examples of new millennium men were nothing like the gentlemen of old.  I vowed to let go my ideas of a perfect soul mate and focused on myself, my work and becoming  a stronger person.

Then I met him. A handsome, funny and courteous man, who instead of planting one on me after our first date, merely hugged me.  Confused, because I was used to the others, I drove home only to receive a phone call saying, “I’m not going to kiss you until I know you. I hope that’s all right?”  All right was an understatement! It was refreshing!  When we finally did agree that we were more than friends, we were sitting on my daybed and he  slid his hand up my arm asking, “Would it be ok if I kissed you good night tonight?”  I smiled and said yes, then slowly, as if in a dream, his lips touched mine – I heard symphonies, saw gold and red sparks and felt heat flow from his mouth to mine.  With a slight touch of his tongue on my lips, I inhaled deeply and we drew closer to each other, relishing in the uniting of souls through this one perfect kiss. **does anyone else need a moment – I do?** HA!  To this day, he still makes my toes curl when he puts an effort into a good kiss.

Eryn and Jon kissing

So I know I can’t be the only one with good, bad, and ugly kissing stories.  In the comments below tell me about some of your stories.  And since a lot of my followers are other romance writers I expect to read some good stuff!!