Excuse me Miss would you please leave…

This week is Thanksgiving and a lot of blogs are featuring “What I’m Thankful For” or “Thanksgiving Nightmares”, but I’m reminded of something a little more simpler and I would really like this to be an interactive blog today.  I want to know some of your Grocery Store Nightmares!  I can’t be the only one who’s been asked, “Would you please leave?” or have witness something traumatic at the local super market.

One of my first grocery store moments was when I was in Connecticut and very young.  I don’t remember who I was with, but we were in a gourmet food store that has barrels of food amongst the aisles, like soaking dill pickles.  Being the always curious child, I remember sticking my hand in a barrell and it was this nasty thick concoction that reminded me of oatmeal.  It was slimy, chunky and smelled earthy and natural.  I have no idea what it was, but the adult that I was with pulled my arm out of the barrell and had to drag me outside to towel me off.  And to this day I don’t eat oatmeal because of the thick, disgusting texture in that barrell.

Another nightmare was in Norwalk, Connecticut at the big Stew Leonard’s store.  I was in my teens and just recently realized how afraid of people being stomach sick bothered me.  I had disliked it since I was 5, but an experience at school brought that dislike to a fear.  (Yes, Diane, I’m talking about you!)  Anyhow, back to the story, so Stew Leonards;  this woman was shopping intently, looking from her list to the shelves, yelling at the toddler in the top seat of the cart, thoroughly distracted enough not to notice that her older child in the basket of the cart was tossing his cookies out the back.  It was so disgusting!! I remember crying, begging my dad for the keys to the car and running away from the store.

The last story I have and believe me it’s not end of my stories haha 🙂 (seriously, if grocery stores were like doctor’s offices and shared information, I would never be let into one.)  This one is definitely one of my favorite stories, though the manager at Albertson’s in San Diego, California would disagree.  Jon, my husband – then boyfriend, were shopping and being very silly.  We had a cart full of food to bring home and make a nice dinner, when we started charging each other and getting tickle-y.  Laughter filled the aisles and we were like two little kids having a grand ol’ time.  Well, that is until we reached the produce aisle and Jon started to threaten to tickle my very ticklish spot if I didn’t stop going after him.  I kept away from him, walking backwards out of the aisle, fending himoff and that’s when it happened.  I backed into one of those fancy wire racks that hold wine bottles much like this  :and all six bottles of red wine came crashing to the ground one by one as if in slow motion, shattering and spilling cabernet from one side of the aisle to the other.  The sound was defeaning, the mess intense and the shock devestating as the manager ran over to see what  happened.  Jon and I stood quietly to the side as the manager radioed for clean up, his face as beat red as the pooling wine at his feet with anger towards us.  Jon immediately offer to pay for the broken wine bottles, but the man put his hand up and said, “I think it would be best if you would just leave and never come back.”

Without another word, I grabbed my purse out of the full cart of groceries and silently, Jon and I exited Albertsons never to return again.  It was awful… we were so embarrassed!  Now we laugh at it, but that was definitely the topper of grocery store nightmares.

In the comments below, please add some of your favorite grocery store stories, if it is too embarrassing and you want to remain anonymous just make up a name like Cookie Monster or something.  I still want to read it 🙂 .  Enjoy!

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6 Comments

  1. At the top of my long list, has to be walking down an aisle in a pharmacy store with my two year old twins in tow beside me, holding each hand firmly, I thought I had our venture out trouble free. The pharmacist I was walking toward was anxiously doing some weird chicken dance, until I got close enough for him to say to me..”Hey, Lady, turn around.”. And there before me was a trail from each side of the aisle, where each twin walked down the aisle, arms out, clearing everything off the lower shelves.

  2. Every shopping trip with my husband is always an adventure. He uses the trip as a game to see how much he can embarrass me by dancing down the aisles. And it’s not just a few tap dances here and there, often he thinks himself Michael Flatley and “Riverdances” down the aisle.

  3. It’s my husband’s job to do the grocery shopping, so on the “rare” occasion that i enter a food store, it’s only to grab a handful of items. So I’m afraid I don’t have ANYTHING embarrassing to add. However, I do have a story of one memorable trip to the pharmacy about a year after we were married, and I’d picked up a few personal items, and I was spacing out when the cashier was ringing me through, and then she said, “Do you want it?” I looked up, confused and saw she was holding up my pregnancy test. A huge smile must’ve just washed over my face and I said, “Oh, yes!” And she put the box in the grocery bag and said, “I hope you get the answer you’re hoping for.” My heart rate felt a little fluttery all the way home, and I headed straight for the bathroom. And guess what … it was positive! 🙂

    • That is a sweet story! Thank you for sharing.
      I had a pregnant moment in a grocery store too. We had just found out Cameron was a boy on ultrasound and we had to stop at the store on the way home. My husband was walking around as proud as a peacock. And when the woman at the bank asked why he was so happy, Jon replied, “I’m having a son,” in the most caveman of ways. It was hilarious! I never knew it was so important to him to ‘make man’, but it was. 🙂

  4. Eryn- loved your blog. I especially like how you assume that everyone has been thrown out of a grocery store before. Asked to leave a bar, I can see, but I have never been thrown out of a grocery store. You’d think that toting around a two-year-old and triplet babies I would have a few embarrassing stories, but other than just the necessity of having two carts, pushing one, pulling one, each with two kids buried in groceries, I don’t have any such stories. Granted it was interesting strategically spacing the boxes upon boxes of diapers and wipes in the car from Sam’s Club (when we had to go to Champaign to shop at one), but…wait! There is one thing.

    It was when our tailgate’s hydraulic lift system was broken and you had to hold it open while putting the groceries in the back. It was raining, I was trying to hold the tailgate open with my back while at the same time bending down to drag the cat litter out from under the cart. (Those things are EXTREMELY heavy, by the way.) The cart kept skittering away so I was trying to reel it back in with my foot without the liftgate chopping me in half and I started thinking about the guy manning the parking lot cameras and how ungraceful I must look and just started laughing out loud. That did not help my situation any. I finally lugged the cat litter into the back of the van but not without a sore tailbone and a bruised ego to show for it.

    So there you have it.

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