COVER REVEAL: Falling for Sacrifice

It’s that time again – COVER REVEAL DAY! And if couldn’t have happened on a better day – My birthday! Next to writing the book and releasing it to the public at the very end of its writing journey, revealing the cover is best part. It’s the decoration on a cake, the cherry on top of a sundae, the diamond earrings before leaving for a night on the town… it’s that final beautiful touch that takes every image you’ve had about your setting and characters and puts it out there for the world to see. This book is no different. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you  Falling for Sacrifice: The Falling for Heroes Series Book Five

FFSACCover Draft 1

Be sure to buy your copy on Thursday, August 30, 2018

And if you haven’t started the series yet… you still have time to read all four before Sacrifice is released. Click down below for your ebook or paperbacks.

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2y4k4M9
Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/2t2ense
Kobo: http://bit.ly/2MkDWh8

Series ad

Advertisements

Cudillero, Asturias Spain in Real Life

While searching for the perfect setting for Alexander’s birth family in Falling for Hope, I knew I exactly what I wanted: a beautiful, seaside town in Spain, where fishing and tourism is prominent. In doing so, I came across this majestic, paradise called Cudillero in Asturias, Spain. My heart was swept away by the images and videos, but what truly made me a lover of this Spanish seaside village was the day I met Ana Alvarez. I had been wishing for someone I could speak to who lived there as I was writing Falling for Sacrifice, which is also set in Cudillero; so I searched Facebook until I found an apartment complex in town. Ana was the woman who responded, and boy, was I the lucky one. Ana’s family has lived in Cudillero for generations upon generations. She’s a history lover, a book lover, and is extremely intelligent, kind, and proud woman of her town. Generously Ana gave of her time and knowledge to help me in writing about the world where my characters live and today I’ve asked her to be a guest on my blog.

I will be bringing today’s blog to you bilingually, so forgive me if my Spanish is horrible! It’s definitely not my first language and not even my second language… I took French in high school! But I have learned a bit over the years and Google Translate is a big helper.

 

Without further ado… Cudillero in Real Life, by Ana Alvarez

Ana

In English

How long have you lived in Cudillero? Tell me about your connection to the town.

I have lived my life in Cudillero. I was born here, so except for my university years or work reasons, I have always been here—very united to my people.

Little Ana in Cudillero

My whole family is from this town… generations and generations. On my mother’s side were sailors, shipowners and pixuetas (name of the inhabitants of Cudillero), housewives, fish sellers, workers of canneries. On my father’s side were apothecaries, teachers, sailors, coopers, writers, and councilmen despite whether they lived here their whole lives, they have always returned and maintained their roots in Cudillero.

 

 

 

What’s the most fascinating piece of history have you learned about your town?

Cudillero is a small town in the north of Spain with centuries of history in and around its surroundings. But its mysterious foundation is perhaps the most interesting. Legends say Cudillero was founded by Normans, or inhabitants of northern Europe who fled from the Vikings, or by Vikings who were looking for a safe place to hide. Before then, there were even Roman forts in the high places that surround the town, such as Mount Santa Ana or Castro. The part of the town where my apartments are located is called Aroncés, which comes from Aras del César, another historic founder of my town.

You may also be interested to know that some of the boats that were made for the conquest of Florida were from here, as were the sailors who navigated the seas. The discoverer of Florida, D. Pedro Menendez, was from Avilés, 20km from Cudillero, and his maternal family was from my town. Menendez made sure to go with the best and most expert sailors (here they are called “sea lions”). The sailors of Cudillero are reputed to have been among the best in Europe.

 

What feeling do you have when you walk into town?

The number one feeling I have about being at home is nostalgia. When I was little the world was different. My people kept the landscape and the other families that have been here forever all know each other. At least, everyone knows me. But with the good comes the bad too, sometimes people know too much. But beyond that I liked to talk and listen to the elderly. They are like a bridge to another time… authentic at the end of the day.

 

What do you enjoy more – conversing with the locals or meeting the tourists?

The two things actually: as I mentioned before I like talking to older people it’s always a discovery, and the old sailors are going to give you the most reliable weather prediction in the world. Hahaha

As for talking to tourists I enjoy it. They are surprised by everything, customs, constructions, and history. It’s refreshing.

 

What building or “spot” is your favorite in Cudillero?

I love the stroll through the intricate alleyways of the Sol de la Banca, the contour of the land, The Baluartín, the Balconada, the singing, Salsipuedes, get lost among those narrow streets I love. But in the Old dock there is a place that I love from where you can see the sea and the lighthouse. It gives me strength, like the sunset on the beach of Maria Candialis or at the end of the pier New.

Baluartin

Views from the Baluartin on a foggy day, Cudillero, Asturias, Spain

María Candialis beach

María Candialis beach, Cudillero, Asturias, Spain

Sol de la Blanca at night

Sol de la Blance at night, Cudillero, Asturias, Spain

35544837_10211983102958446_8235475901748346880_n

The lighthouse at the end of the old pier, Cudillero, Asturias, Spain

35728745_10211983104478484_24929755417542656_n

The intricate, beautiful, and mysterious alleyways near Sol de la Blanca, Cudillero, Asturias, Spain

 

 

If you’ve been away for a while, what is the first thing you see, smell, and hear that lets you know you’re home?

The sea, the seagulls, the smell of the kitchens of the houses and the fried fish fresh out of its many restaurants.

 

If someone visits Cudillero, what’s the one experience you wish the people took away from your town?

The experience of feeling at home in an authentic place with history and traditions that make you want to return; and that the people are very nice and makes you feel at ease.

scroll-clip-art-at-vector-clip-art-online-royalty
Thank you so much Ana for answering my questions and helping me so much. I’m so glad I found you. You are truly a sister across the ocean.

And you’ll be able to read more about Ana in Falling for Sacrifice. I gave her a bit of recognition and turned her into a character. You can read all about Miss Ana Alvarez, the legal aide in Falling for Sacrifice coming August 30!

 

 

 

En Español

¿Cuánto tiempo has vivido en Cudillero? Cuéntame sobre tu conexión con la ciudad.

He vivido casitoda mi vidad en Cudillero. Nací aquí y excepto algunos periodos como los años de Universidad, o por causas de trabajo siempre he estado muy unidad a mi pueblo. Además toda mi familia es de este pueblo, generaciones y generaciones . Por parte de mi madre marineros , armadores y pixuetas (nombre de los habitantes de Cudillero), amas de casa , vendedoras de pescado, trabajadoras de fábricas de conserva. Por parte de mi padre boticarios , maestros , marineros, boticarias , maestras, tonelero, escritores, … todos del concejo que aunque no vivieran aquí toda su vida siempre volvían y mantenía su arraigo.

 

¿Cuál es la parte más fascinante de la historia que has aprendido sobre tu ciudad?

Cudillero es un pequeño pueblo del norte de España, tiene siglos de historia, él y sus alrededores . Pero quizás su fundación misteriosa, dicen que fue fundado por normandos o habitantes del norte de Europa que huían de los vikingos, o por los mismo vikingos que buscaban un lugar escondido y seguro donde ocultarse. Antes ya había castros romanos en los altos que lo rodean cono el Monte de Santa Ana o Castro, incluso la población donde se encuentran los apartamentos se llama Aroncés que viene de Aras del César.

También os puede interesar que algunos de los barcos que se hicieron para la conquista de la Florida eran de aquí, como muchos de los marineros que fueron . El adelantado de la Florida, D. Pedro Menendez era de Avilés , a 20km de Cudillero, y su familia materna era de mi pueblo así que se aseguró de ir con los marineros expertos(aquí se les llama “lobos de mar”) de la villa pixueta. Los marineros de Cudillero tieneen fama de haber sido de los mejores de Europa.

 

¿Qué sensación tienes cuando entras a la ciudad?

La de estar en casa, donde estoy segura. También nostalgia. Cuando yo era pequeña el mundo era diferente, mi peblo conservaba el paisaje y la gente de las familias que han vivido aquí durante siglos y todos nos conocíamos. Por lo menos y aún sigue siendo así , me conoce todo el mundo , con lo Bueno y lo malo que conlleva eso. Pero me gustaba hablar y escuchar a la gente mayor , a los ancianos, eran como el puente a otra época. Auténticos. Al fin y al cabo un pueblo lo hacen sus gentes.

 

¿Qué es lo que más le gusta: conversar con los lugareños o conocer a los turistas?

Las dos cosas, como te dije antes, hablar con la gente mayor siempre es un descubrimiento y los marineros viejos te van a dar la predicción meteorológica más fiable del mundo. Jajaja

Hablar con los turistas también me gusta, se sorprenden por todo, las costumbres, la construcciones, la historia,…

 

¿Qué edificio o “lugar” es tu favorito en Cudillero?

Callejear me encanta por las caleas intrincadas,  Sol de la Banca, El Contorno, El Baluartín , la Balconada, el Canto , Salsipuedes, perderme entre esas calles estrechas me encanta. Pero en el muelle Viejo hay un lugar que me encanta , desde donde se ve la mar y el faro. Me da fuerza, al igual que la puesta de sol en la playa de Maria candialis, al final del muelle Nuevo.

 

Si has estado fuera por un tiempo, ¿qué es lo primero que ves, hueles y oyes que te deja saber que estás en casa?

La mar, las gaviotas, el olor de las cocinas de las casas y el de los fritos de pescado fresco saliendo de sus muchos restauroantes.

 

 

Si alguien visita Cudillero, ¿cuál es la única experiencia que desearía que la gente se llevara de su pueblo?

La experiencia de sentirse en casa, en un lugar auténtico, con historia y tradiciones al que querer volver porque la gente es muy maja y  te hace sentir a gusto.

 

 

scroll-clip-art-at-vector-clip-art-online-royalty

Muchas gracias Ana por responder mis preguntas y ayudarme mucho. Estoy tan feliz por haberte encontrado. Eres una verdadera hermana al otro lado del océano.

Y podrás leer más sobre Ana en Falling for Sacrifice. Le di un poco de reconocimiento y la convertí en un personaje. ¡Puede leer todo sobre la Srta. Ana Álvarez, la asistente legal en Falling for Sacrifice el 30 de agosto!

 

Important Dates to Come

It’s going to be a big, busy summer, my friends.

As I’ve kept you updated on all my social media (PS… are you following me? No, go do it. All links are to the left of the screen) on my daily events and goals that have been made. Falling for Sacrifice is with the editor. Book 6 (not yet titled – I’m working on it) has been started, and I’ve been planning some really cool things for you right here on the blog. So without further ado… here are some important upcoming dates to mark on your calendar:

 

June 22 – It’s my birthday! And my present to you is Falling for Sacrifice’s COVER REVEAL!

June 29 – We will be starting a little something called Fan Fiction Friday. The last Friday of the month we’ll present a fan fiction of any movie/tv/game subject to be featured. I have some to share, or if you want to submit your fan fiction for publication, we can do that too!  My contact information is to the left, or you can grab me on social media.

July 23 – In association with the Cable Project and Warrior Hannah, we will be having a raffle with 100% of the proceeds going straight to the two charities mentioned above. I’ll have more information about these causes coming soon. You won’t want to miss this!

July 27 – 2nd Fan Fiction Friday

August 30Falling for Sacrifice’s RELEASE DAY! I’m not too sure what fun things we’ll do on this special day, but I’ll keep you updated.

 

And I’m sure I’ll have more to add to this list, but I’m so excited for all these that I had to share with you my plans. Plus we’ll have some famous and specialized interviews coming up too, as well as our normal content. Like I said, it’s going to be a big, busy summer!!

Is there any content you’d like to see featured? Let me know in the comments.

Interview with Writer Dawn Taylor

 

Good afternoon everyone! I’ve always opened up my blog to interviews and this time is no different, except, I thought hmm, why not open the interviews to people I care about and that mean something to me. Some may be friends, family, acquaintances, or maybe even a famous person (you know I’m not shy).

Anyhow, today, I thought we’d talk to my best friend, Dawn Taylor, who was the one who first sat with me in high school as we wrote about the New Kids on the Block instead of studying. HA! Through Dawn, I realized writing didn’t have to be that awful school stuff, it could be fun. And to this day, I still call on her to help me with plots or sentences or even the titles of the books. I even present Dawn with a special surprise by the end. Take a little break and watch!

Ladies and gentlemen – Dawn Taylor.

 

P.S. Please excuse my appearance. I should’ve fixed myself up. I had just come from a hot run with the dog.

From An Unapologetic Fangirl

October 23, 2011 - May 18, 2018

For the last forty days on Instagram I’ve been doing one of those posting challenges for the final forty days of my favorite television show Once Upon a Time. Let me stop here for a second, if you are not a fanatic kind of person, feel free to skip this. This is meant for those who love fantasy, fairy tales, and being swept away for an hour a week. Anyhow, back to the point… the challenge… well, I made it through all 40 days and today’s post is plainly stated: What is the best memory the show gave you? What impact will it have on your life? How it has changed you?

I thought I would open this up to my blog so I can share my true feelings without hinderance of space.

What is the best memory the show gave me?

Oh my goodness, SO many memories. At first, it was a time where my family and I could sit down together and fall in love with a show and it’s characters as a whole. I loved fairy tales as a child, my husband loved Disney, so we were easily swept away in the storyline. On October 23, 2011, we sat down watching this show and I knew from the first instant Prince Charming was racing across a road to get to his Snow White that I was going to love this show. I said it, right then and there, “Babe, I love this show.”

My husband had turned to me with a quizzical face saying, “It just started.”

But I knew. I was going to love it and I did. I watched all but 2 episodes live (and I know the exact 2 too, Heart of Gold in season 4 and Sisters in season 5). I had a set of rules that had to be followed for each episode too.

  1. There is no talking during the episode. You can speak during the commercials.
  2. I am not to be bothered for any reason, unless death is involved.
  3. I am to hold the remote. There is no channel changing during Once. (My husband has a bad habit of switching shows during the commercials and not going back).
  4. There is no making fun of me while I watch the show.
  5. Be quiet. No commotion in the background while I watch the show.

Most of the time these rules were obeyed, but Heaven forbid, one of these rules was broken – Mama was mad! Hell hath no fury like a woman being interrupted during Once.

Over the years of the show, my son grew up and stopped watching, my husband gave up during the Frozen arc, but I stayed on through it all – and none of that disrespecting season seven because the cast changed – no, I am in love with the show as a whole, not just specific characters. Sure, I have my favorites, but I would still watch even if they weren’t on it. I love the show as a whole, not just bits and pieces.

What impact will it have on your life? AND How it has changed you?

I think the impact it will have on my life is that it taught some life lessons that I can’t forget. Once taught me to dream unapologetically. And with those dreams, greatness can occur. Becoming an author was a huge dream of mine that I’ve been able to obtain in my life. I started writing well before Once Upon A Time, and was published before the first episode aired, but even through the tough writing times, I persevered because of the lessons I’ve learned on Once. You don’t give up. If you have a dream, you reach it. I don’t know if I would’ve been so persistent in my dreams if not for Once.

Also, I have met some beautiful friends through the show. These are wonderful, intelligent, funny, romantic people who I know will be bonded with for life. And through these people my life has changed too. I’ve learned to be more guarded toward some, more tolerant of others… I’ve learned that I’m not the only one who’s a dreamer, who’s anxious, who loves cookies and cream ice cream (Gabby!). These women, and some guys too, will be in my life for as long as they want and opened up my heart just that little bit more.

Heck, including parts of the cast… Adam Croasdell, Colin O’Donoghue, and Josh Dallas, have inspired characters in my books. Adam especially, we chat somewhat regularly about things far beyond the show, and I’d like to think of him as a really awesome internet friend.

The female characters alone have taught me how to embrace being a strong woman and to make my voice be heard. Lana Parrilla, especially, meeting her I saw this gorgeous woman from head to toe and when I said, “Oh my gosh you are so beautiful!” Her first response wasn’t, “oh thanks, I know,” like some stuck up snob… no, she said, “So are you!” And we are, aren’t we ladies? We’re all beautiful inside and out. Every woman should feel beautiful, because each one of us is special.

Through Colin O’Donoghue supporting his family through Twitter, I was able to “meet” his brother, Allen, who’s a life coach for parents on how to raise good, well-balanced children. His organization is called Help Me To Parent and his advice has saved my sanity more times than I can think of. From subjects on discipline to video games to my son’s always hungry stomach, I’ve learned some really wonderful, and life changing ways to guide my son through these awkward tween years.

What other show branches out this much and makes such an impact on lives? I don’t know many. Thank you Once creators and actors for bringing me this show for the last seven years. I won’t forget any of you and the memories you’ve given me.

scroll-clip-art-at-vector-clip-art-online-royalty

Just for fun, I thought I’d go through my social media history and gather ALL of the posts I’ve made over the years of watching Once Upon a Time. Yeah, there are a lot. But I have fun. I like being a fangirl. In a world where bombs go off, children’s schools are being shot up, and there are daily reports of abuse, murders, and heartache; getting away from it all an hour a week and celebrating something as simple as a favorite show is allowed.

GOODBYE ONCE

Where Were You When…

Two very important world events will be happening in the next two days: The Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, and the end of Once Upon a Time (okay, so one huge world event and one series finale that’s very important to me.) If you know anything about me, you know that I am super excited to experience both, but then that started me thinking… when we think of tragic events everyone seems to ask – where were you when such and such happened? But instead of focusing on negative events like assassinations, terrorism, or accidents, let’s see if we can remember some happy events.

 

diana-bridesmaids_1764549i

Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer’s Wedding

“I, Diana Frances, take thee Phillip Charles Arthur George…”

Just like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, I was enthralled as a young girl (very young) over his mother and father, Prince Charles and Diana’s wedding. I was six, I believe, and my mother had gone on and on about this real life prince and princess getting married. I was already a very imaginative and romantic child, using the sheer curtains in the living room as a wedding veil when I’d play pretend, so of course I was excited to see a real royal wedding. I remember it was a hot day and my mom had spread a sheet on the floor, since we had a shag carpet and it was cooler, and plopped my sisters and I in front of the television set. The princess bride was gorgeous, the prince was doofy but handsome in his blue royal suit. I loved it and since then, I don’t think there’s been a royal wedding I’ve missed from Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, to Prince William and Catherine Middleton–where I shared my royal wedding fascination with my son and “daughter” Princess Ellie (may she rest in peace).

 

 

Classic Television Show Endings

“I’m sorry, we’re closed.”

I may not remember the ends of super classic shows like The Brady Bunch, M*A*S*H, or Little House on the Prairie, but I clearly was present for shows in my generation ending, like Cheers, Seinfeld, Friends, Smallville and a bunch of others. Sometimes those final shows are awesome. Smallville, for instance, finally had our young Clark Kent that we had seen grow up finally don the red cape and save the day in a super suit. I shot off the bed, jumping up and down since I thought for sure they’d never show Tom Welling in the suit. Even still, we didn’t get much of a glimpse, but it was enough for me.

Some shows have had stupid endings like Seinfeld where everyone went to jail for all the narcissistic things they caused of the run of the series. They could’ve done better. Cheers too, it was so boring all sitting around the bar contemplating the meaning of life. Zzzzzz… The only thing I liked was Sam turning off the lights and telling the customer outside that they were closed. Great line, but very lack luster ending.

Friends though, oh boy. I cried. Those six people I watched every week were my friends and to watch them grow over the years into relationships and families of their own touched my heart. Then to have Monica and Chandler move away and everyone turn in their key was just heartwarming. I have a feeling my precious Once Upon a Time will be that way. From the way the actors on social media have been posting, it seems like this final episode will be bittersweet. Once has meant so much to me from the moment it aired too, so I know I will be sobbing whether it’s a good episode or not. I don’t want to see it go.

 

 

First Independence Day After 9/11

God bless America
Land that I love
Stand beside her
And guide her
Through the night with the light from above

sdut-independence-day-themed-events-north-county--2013jun27

Yeah, yeah, so it’s not some big historic moment, but it definitely was important and I know exactly what I was doing. After 9/11 our country was in chaos and depressed – not economically, but as a mood. No one wanted to laugh at first, no one wanted to be adventurous. There was a heaviness to the nation and I know I had felt it. But that first Independence Day, July 4th, 2002, I will remember well. Jon and I had moved to Solana Beach, California from Tierrasanta, which is on the coast, north of San Diego. We lived on this hillside overlooking the Del Mar Racetrack and Fairgrounds, and the Pacific Ocean. We knew there were going to be fireworks shot off after the P!nk concert going on, so we (and most of the neighborhood) started setting up chairs overlooking the grounds down below. We couldn’t see the concert, but we could definitely hear it and when it was over, P!nk sang some patriotic tunes as the fireworks burst almost eye level with us on top of the hill. It was magical. I remember leaning on Jon’s shoulder at one point tearing because it was such a perfect moment to celebrate the first American birthday after such a tragic event shook our world. He knew I am a huge patriotic sap, and wrapped his arms around me, sharing in the moment.

 

2009 Armed Forces Inaugural Committee

President Obama’s Inauguration

“We recall that what binds this nation together is not the colors of our skin…”

Politics aside (and I don’t want to read them in the comments either), Barack Obama being elected to the presidency was an extremely historical moment: The first black person to hold the highest role in the country.

As a nation we unfortunately have slavery in our past. I am not proud of this. To me it’s a deep scar in our history and it shouldn’t be forgotten, but learned from so the same mistakes should never be made again. What our black ancestors went through was disgusting; how they were treated, how they were abused… and for what, because their skin is a different color? Seriously, beyond disgusting and it fires me up to no end. So to see how far people of this ethnicity have risen to such high powers makes me extremely proud.

The morning of President Obama’s inauguration I was in Springfield, IL, working for a company where the people weren’t too tolerant. In fact, some were down right ignorant, asking why I wanted to watch, since I was white. As if it shouldn’t matter to me since I’m not his same race. I remember shaking my head and fuming inside at the audacity of such a thought. I was so proud and here these people were ruining it. Anyway, I asked to take a long lunch so I could see the inauguration and witness the swearing in of our first black president. I came home and watched with chills gathering on my arms. The historical significance not lost on what was happening. I think I may have even shed a tear or two. Like I said above, politics aside, it was a beautiful moment in American history, seeing President Obama take on his new role.

 

Berlin Wall Coming Down

“Mr. Gorbachev, Tear Down This Wall.”

3181234_orig

I specifically remember being in an elementary school assembly watching a movie about an East German family flying a hot air balloon over the Berlin Wall into West Germany to be reunited with the rest of their family. It was called Night Crossing, as I just looked it up, and I went home that night after watching it and asked my parents if it was a real story. That was the first time I heard about the Berlin Wall. Even as a child the story about the Berlin Wall effected me. How could families be separated and kept from each other like that? So fast forward to when I was in high school and I remember watching television in my parents’ bedroom when the show was interrupted with news that the wall was being torn down. There I watched as people were standing on top of this graffitied wall with pick axes, striking the concrete and breaking off pieces and panels of the wall that kept them separated from freedom. They were joyous and celebrating, crying for the freedom they’d been bestowed.

To this day, every time I hear President Reagan’s famous quote shown above, I smile and get those historic chills running up and down my arms and legs. What a privilege it was to have witnessed such an event.

 

scroll-clip-art-at-vector-clip-art-online-royalty

I could go on and on, but I’ve already written a short story here. So it’s your turn. In the comments below or back on any of my social media posts, tell me what some of your positive memories are from historic and/or world events?  

 

 

An Open Look at Anxiety

Time to some is just a minute on a clock. To others it’s a guide; and to others still, it’s a prison. I am one of those people who feel like I’m in a time prison when anxiety hits me like a torrential rain storm. Some of you may know, and other may not, but I suffer from panic attacks and bouts of anxiety. I don’t like it– I hate it, in fact, and wouldn’t wish on anyone. I do feel the need to talk about it today so maybe it helps someone else in desperate need to find answers.

I have a phobia, I have fears, and worries that plague me almost on a daily basis. I never stop thinking. Sometimes I can curb the madness and throw myself in work or family and those days are the very best. I feel like there are more of those than the anxious days, but if I’m being honest, they’re probably a 60/40 ratio (60% going to the better days). I’d love it if the anxiety side was a lower number and that is why I’ve taken the reins and gone to therapy to help learn why the anxiety comes on as often as it does.

When I first began going to therapy, I thought my only problem was anxiety that stemmed from my phobia of being sick to my stomach. I can’t even call it the real word when talking about it. I have to use a word that doesn’t specifically mean being stomach sick; I have to use a word that has another meaning like the word hurl. Hurl means the bad thing, and it also means to throw something – like a ball. And even after using a non-specific word, I still just say H, to further distance myself from it.  Anyhow, it’s a deep fear and it sets off panic attacks pretty badly.  These attacks then somehow get turned into the time prison I mentioned above. If I’m panicking, I start thinking about how long until this or that? How much sleep do I need to get before I’m supposed to be up for work? How long is my work shift? If I’m panicking on a trip, how long are we in the car/plane for ? But mostly, I think how long has it been since I or my son was last sick? Is there a long enough buffer zone from the last time to have trust in our stomachs? Or, oh no, it’s coming up on one week, one month, one year, five years, ten years, since some H’ed ? If I can get through those time prisons I can make it through the attack. At least that’s my thinking. Yeah, time is not my friend when attacks hit.

I would really like to know where this stems from and perhaps one day, I’ll figure it out. Until that day comes, I will try to do what my therapist says and ask the question WHY? Why am I feeling this way? Why is my brain taking me down this road? Why am I feeling nauseous or shaky or upset? Why don’t I want to work? Why don’t I want to move? Asking why, helps me logically think about why I’m feeling the way I am and how I can break free. So far it works. I’ve stopped a handful of panic attacks by asking why and focusing on the logic behind why my attacks are coming on.

Another method I try is the good, old favorite distraction method of finding a place I can go to where time doesn’t exist and bliss was forever. For me that would be on a beach somewhere listening to the ocean and seagulls with a cool breeze lapping my sun-kissed skin; my husband and son playing not too far away. Their laughter lingers on the air while I write stories to my heart’s desire. Ahh, my anxiety free, happy place of peace.

All in all, it’s hard for me to admit my faults (and yes, I see them as faults even thought I can’t help it – still working on that one too), but I do hope that writing this might help someone else in need of answers they are struggling to find. Anxiety is an individual affliction, but know you are not alone in the fight. I’m there too and together we can work on eliminating the prison where find ourselves trapped. We can break through.

 

 

 

 

scroll-clip-art-at-vector-clip-art-online-royalty

If you have found this during a panic attack and are looking for a place of peace, I hope you’ve found it. You are not alone. You are not trapped. I know what you are going through, and I pray that you will get through this bleak moment. You are strong. You will be free. Breathe. Relax. Go to my happy place if you’d like… there’s room for you and your family or friends or pets too.

If you are religious, God is with you. He won’t let you be alone either. Focus on Him. If you aren’t religious, consider searching your soul for God, a spirit that can guide you. God doesn’t have to be a strict religion in a church with rules. He’s a father, He’s love, He’s comfort. He’s in your heart. Trust Him. Trust yourself. You are stronger than you think you are. You’ve got this. Breathe.