As a romance writer the first part thing I think of when putting together a story is, who is going to fall in love and how are they going to do that. In Falling for Shock, not only do I have the beautiful love story of Layla and Oliver, but I also have the more familial love story of Layla and her twin sister Lucy. What would one sister give to help another and how far would they go to risk their own life for their sibling?
Luckily, I didn’t have to go too far for research into the world of twins. Twins are a prevalent part of my family. Over four generations we have racked up thirty-seven sets of twins, including my grandmother and her sister and my two sisters, Kelli and Kristin. Kelli and Kristin are identical twins just like Layla and Lucy Brooks and since I grew up with them I often found myself on the outside looking into their strange little world. They had their own language as kids, dreamed the same, finished each other’s sentences, said the same things at the same times, felt each other’s pain and many, many, many other weird coincidences… it would take a full novel just to list their weirdness.
Instead of being technical and going through my twin journey while I wrote my book, I decided to ask the many sets of twins or mothers of twins if the twins are too little, one simple question: What is the best and worst thing about being a twin? Now the cool thing about this impromptu survey is in some cases I didn’t ask the twins this question while the other was around. I even went so far to make separate phone calls or texts in order to receive these answers. The ones who have an asterisk by their names are the ones who were asked separately and take note of their answers.
Best: My twin understands me like no one else because she are an extension of me.
Worst: With the twin bond comes a sense of morality – pain is greater because not only am I watching my sister go through something horrific but I’m feeling it as well. I’m living it too.
Best: I like being a twin because there is an extra me. My twin always knows what I’m thinking and feeling because it’s what she would be thinking and feeling herself, on her own.
Worst: Superficially, I hate when people compare us together, especially physically. If I’m heavier or if she’s heavier there’s judgment or comments like, “oh your sister is skinner”. But on a more deeper level I hate when their pain becomes your pain, too. Not that we magically share pain, but if she’s hurt, then I am too because I’m watching her being hurt and emotionally seeing her in a pain is pain for me.
Best: Always having someone there to play with/talk to. And double the “stuff” (clothes, toys, etc).
Worst: Always being considered a pair instead of as individuals. Like one won’t get invited to a party because someone doesn’t want to invite the other twin.
Best: Always having a friend who knows what you are going through. Being able to share twice the stuff growing up and sometimes into adulthood. Also fooling your college friends who think they just saw you on another part of campus.
Worst: Personally, I have a hard time making other close friends because I already have my sister. And being lumped together as one unit.
Best: The best thing is the connection. There’s nothing like it. All I have to do is give my sister a look and she knows what I’m thinking.
Worst: The worst thing is being thought of as one being instead of 2 individuals. It was worse when we were younger, but still tends to happen now too.
Best: The best thing is always having a best friend. A friend from birth who will always be there when you need them. And also always having someone who understands you and someone to talk to. The connection. Sometimes it’s like we have the same mind. We know what each other is thinking. And know what the other is going to say before it’s said. Not that it has to be said because we already know.
Worst: The worst thing is there is None. Yeah we get asked every time we go out if we are sisters. Like no, we are not sisters we just look exactly alike but have never seen each other before! But really nothing about being a twin is bad. I love it.
Cheryl Davis :
Best: The best is always having someone to play with when growing up. I love being a twin. I would not change it for the world.
Worst: Being compared to one another when growing up by everyone from other parents to teachers to friends. It never ends. The other worst is never having my own birthday lol.
Jessica C (Fraternal twin):
Best: Is having such an unexplainable bond with her brother. We have a 6th sense about each other and know when the other is sad, sick, happy. The bond we share is the most unexplainable, extraordinary, treasured thing in my life.”
Worst: The worst part to being a twin to always being considered a “package deal”. Since my twin is a boy, it cause a lot of conflict and hurt feelings growing up.
Best: Always having a best friend. I’ve met other twins who aren’t as close with their sibling but that’s not the case with us.
Worst: Well, I would say sharing clothes if I had a sister, but I don’t (definitely one of the advantages of having a twin brother), so I’d have to say when people ask if we are identical. Uh, no, we’re a boy and a girl, it’s kind of impossible to be identical.
Best: I like having a sibling my same age, because we can go through things together and they know how it feels.
Worst: I’d have to say, always being associated with your sibling as if you are the same person. Also, I’ve been asked at least fifty times whether I’m an identical twin or fraternal and that’s after I tell them I have a twin sister.
Mothers of Twins have some stories too!
My mother (mother to identical twins Kelli & Kristin):
Best: One of my favorite, most enlightened memories of being a mother of twins is the morning I had my first ultrasound where I found out I was having twins. My husband was getting the car after the appointment and I was standing in front of a large picture window lost in awe of the miracle that was given to me. I had to thank God right then and there for this incredible blessing.
Some other positives were:
-Being stopped all the time and asked questions about the girls.
- I love seeing how close my twins are. They always have each other and they truly are two bodies who understand one mind.
Worst: No one is allowed in the circle of twindom. It’s an exclusive club and it can be hurtful, but at the same time I am glad they are close.
Some more negatives:
- Being pregnant was horrific! It felt like aliens took over my body and all I could do is let them.
- My husband and I didn’t sleep for two years during the infant and toddler years.
- I love babies and I wanted to hug and snuggle my tiny twins, but because they were so much work to do, I couldn’t shower them with an undivided attention like I had with my singleton.
- On the downside of being stopped in public though, I also had a three year old who was left out when her sisters were getting all the attention.
- Emotionally, when I punished one of them it was as if I was punishing both because the other would cry. Their sympathy was so great for each other.
Melissa (mother of identical twin girls E & L) :
Best thing about the girls being twins is when they do funny things and they both laugh in the same laugh at it.
The worst is when they tattle on each other.
Erin McRae (mother to A & J siblings 1 year apart in age):
My kids are 12 months and 5 days apart. They look alike, act alike, and are best friends. They aren’t twins, but twins do run in my family. My cousin (who is a twin) says that A and J remind her of her and her brother. They act like twins, they even have their own language. They carry on conversations that no one but the two of them have any idea what they are talking about. They also always to to one another first for comfort. I love that they are so close.
Do you know, are related to, or are you a twin yourself and have a story to tell… or if you want to add to the Best and Worst things about being a twin? Then please leave it in the comments below!
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